Cult of Rabbids!
by JohnTheHobbyistWriter
Summary: After being confronted by a holographic rabbid version of the Christ, a rabbid named Jay sought out to spread the word of the prophet and develop a following at all cost.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters in this story and all of the characters were created from Ubisoft. Not only that, there may be themes of violence, backstabbings (literal or otherwise), and much more. The content of this story will not be gory but please be advised when reading.

Some of the characters - the rabbids mainly - though have been modified to convey the story effectively and are not a good representative of how the show runs.

**Author's Note: **Weird story idea but I thought "Hey, this might work out alright for the most part."

**Prologue: _The Awakening_**

The sound of the bright lights in the laboratory hums softly as the two scientists prepare for their next test on the Rabbids. Gina Xenson laying her head softly on the control panels while John Charles relaxes his back on the metal chair, staring aimlessly.

"John," Gina said, "What's the time?"

John eyed his watch for a moment before looking at Gwen.

"9:00 PM," John replied.

Gwen rubbed her eyes, irritated by overtime work they have to do. She then straightened up and turned towards John, holding a coffee mug.

"Ok, What time do we leave?"

"12:00 AM."

Gwen took a sip from the coffee mug only to realize it was empty. She then placed it on a table nearby and stared back at the empty testing room.

"Years of research with these 'creatures' and the only thing for show is my sanity slowly dissipating every time I test them! I guess I have to kiss that _Scientist of the Decade_ award goodbye. John, be useful and get me more coffee." Gwen said as she slouched on the control panels again.

John slowly nodded before grabbing the mug and heading off to refill it, returning it 5 minutes later hot to the touch. He then placed the mug on the table.

"So, are you ready for the next test?" asked John.

Gwen looked at him funny before saying, "I suppose we are."

Gwen took her notepad and got ready to document.

"This is Rabbid Test number 98007 dash c. We are testing to see if the Rabbids can display any _interest_ in intellectual pursuits by placing the Christian Bible on the ground to see if any of them would react and read," stated Gwen.

"But why the Bible? We both know that they can't even understand simple shapes or how some objects work," asked John, "Why not a children's book to start off?"

"I asked the same question as you did," Gwen replied rubbing her temples," but the higher ups for this research insisted that it is best to not 'infantize' the Rabbids. Just thinking about it makes me want to-."

"Easy there, Gwen. We have only about 3 hours left before we can go home. Besides, something can come up from this test that will revolutionize the way we think of the rabbids."

"Oh John, if that is the case, they just made an even more hateful person. Anyways, I know for a fact that they would not understand the language of the book very well so I had some of my artist friends make the most simple yet detail illustrations of the events in the book. That way, they could get a gist of what they are reading somehow." said Gwen while John looked through the book.

John only nodded before placing Gwen's version of the Bible copy on the table. Gwen pressed one of the red buttons which opened up one of the ceiling blocks and out came four rabbids, each one landing on top of the other. The four rabbids were nearly identical to each other except for one wearing a blond wig and another one with two red eyes. All four rabbids then got up from the pile and started to explore the space around them.

"Good, they are looking around. Now time for the book."

The female scientist pressed another button which released the book in question, it landing on top of one of the rabbids knocking them out. All the other 3 rabbids came to the downed rabbid aid and helped them up before kicking the book away. Gwen felt her heart sink another depth before grabbing the coffee-filled mug and drinking from it. As she continued to drink, the red-eyed rabbid grew curious as to what was the book was about and strayed from the group. Picking it up and flipping through the pages, the two scientists were on the edge of their seat as to what the rabbid will do next. The rabbid then started to lick at the pages like an ice cream cone.

Disappointed at the turn of events, Gwen was about to hit the reset button before being stopped by John.

"Wait! While what we saw was a complete failure, I got something that could make the test interesting," explained John.

"Is it a gun? Because I would like to see their terror. No one would ever know what happened."

"No, not that. At least not for this test," said John as Gwen grinned with glee at the prospect, "I have been working on this translator device that I have found for their language. It still needs some tinkering and tweaking to be fully functional but it may just do for this test."

"John, if this is just an excuse to test one of those fake translating toys I will bludgeon you with this mug."

John quickly shook his head and hands with fear towards Gwen before saying, "Nothing like that but the rabbid right there is a good start."

Gwen sighed before saying, "Regardless if this works or not, you better supply me more of the 'good' stuff. Twenty bags of it."

John protested saying, "But the guy don't have that much on him. It would caus-"

"Twenty bags. Nothing more, nothing less."

John nodded in agreement and Gwen then pressed the button which brought both the rabbid and the book to a dark room. The male scientist hurried to the other end of the room, turned on a holographic display of Jesus Christ but in rabbid form, and ready his translator to the microphone.

John coughed before saying, "Why are you licking the book that depicts me and my teachings?! Have you no shame or decency?!"

The voice projected from the loudspeakers through the room with a thunderous echo. Catching them by surprise, the rabbid licked at the book once more before putting it down.

"That's it! For displaying such disrespect in front of me, your punishment is to spread the word of my teaching at all cost! No if's or but's! Got it?!"

The rabbid's eyes were filled with terror before nodding profusely. With this satisfying response, John then pressed a button which brought the rabbid back to the group. The red-eyed rabbid then started to hurriedly speak to with them.

"Wow, John! It actually did do something. What did you say?"

"I just said to 'spread God's word to others' in punishment for licking the book."

The rabbid talked to the two blue-eyed rabbids about the book before talking to the blondie. All three of the rabbids looked at each other before looking at. They then shook their heads with disdain and began to walk away. The preaching rabbid continued to talk but was stopped by one of the rabbids with a punch to the face and a scolding by them. The red-eyed rabbid waddled back to the corner of the testing room before starting to mope.

"I guess it is a good time to activate phase two of the test," Gwen said before pressing a blue button, which brings up an altar and a pew.

All of the rabbids, except the sad one, looked at the pieces of furniture before playing on them and jumping around. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she then pressed a button which brought out a metal claw and dragged the glum rabbid up to the altar before placing the Bible on top of it.

"John, it's your time to shine. Give him a little 'push'," said Gwen which John nodded and placed his translator near the microphone.

"Read! Read and spread the word of my gospel. Don't disappoint!" yelled John with his voice booming to the shocked rabbids.

The rabbid near the altar shook with fear before standing tall and started to address the rabbids. All of the other rabbids stopped jumping around and started to listen attentively to the rabbid. After sometime later, while the two blue-eyed rabbids were still not convinced about what the red-eyed rabbid is saying, the blondie broke out in tears and started to wail in their spoken language.

John speaks through the translator one more time to say, "This defiance shall not go any further. Whoever disagrees with the word shall be punished swiftly."

He then pressed a red button which brought out two metal claws, one for each rabbid and throwing them around until they are nearly about to vomit. Afterward, both rabbids started to bow to the rabbid preacher.

"John, I don't know how you did it but you made us famous!" yelled Gwen as both celebrated around the small room.

However, John bumped his body near the reset button, making everything in the testing space fall through the floor. Gwen looked in shock before turning to John angrily.

"Hey, at least we have the-" said John but was cut off as the rabbid translator started to overheat and smoke up.

With his best effort, John tried to diagnose the problem but was too late with the device exploding in two on his hands. He chuckled nervously at Gwen before she started to speak.

"Get those packages to me by tonight. No question. Got it!" said Gwen before grabbing the mug and heading out the door with John in slow pursuit.

While this was the end of their test for the two scientists, it was the beginning of the red-eyed rabbid's cult.


End file.
